Teenage Pregnancy

If you have just learned that your teen is having a baby, you are probably experiencing a wide range of emotions, from shock and disappointment to grief and worry about the future. And although some parents are embarrassed by their teen's pregnancy and worried about how family, friends, and neighbors will react, others are happy over the news of a soon-to-be grandchild - especially if the teen is older and in a mature relationship.

Whatever feelings you're experiencing, this is likely to be a difficult time for your family. The important thing to realize is that your teen needs you now more than ever. Being able to communicate with each other - especially when emotions are running high - is essential. Teens that are carrying a baby to term have special health concerns, and your child will have a healthier pregnancy - emotionally and physically - if she knows she doesn't have to go it alone.

So what can you do as the parent of a teen having a baby? Recognize your feelings and work through them so that you can accept and support her. Does that mean you don't have the right to feel disappointed and even angry? No. Such reactions are common. You might have a strong flood of emotions to deal with, especially at first. But the reality of the upcoming baby means that you'll have to get beyond your initial feelings for the sake of your teen and her child.

If you need help coping with your feelings about the situation, talk to someone you trust or seek professional counseling. A neutral third party can be a great resource at a time like this.

Although the rate for teen pregnancies have dipped since the early 1990s, the United States still has the dubious distinction of having the highest rate of teen pregnancy among other countries of similar status. So if you are parent of a teenager, what else can you do to help prevent your teenager from getting pregnant or getting someone pregnant?

• Keep communication between you and your teen open so that talking about sex is easier to broach.
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• Be approachable so that if your teenager has questions about sex or relationships, you can be ready with answers.
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• Teach your family values and help your teen see how much they are worth. Explain that no one should be able to make him or her feel like they have to be sexually active.
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• Encourage safe and fun activities and sports. Show them their strengths and keep education a top priority.
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• Watch for warning signs of heavy relationships with the opposite sex. Also watch for signs of depression or a drop off in previously enjoyed activities. You may need to take further steps to help them avoid becoming sexually promiscuous.
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• Teach your teenager the problems associated with unsafe sex. Show him or the diseases that can result as well as the threat of unplanned pregnancy.
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• Know what your teenager is doing and where they like to hang out. Make your home an open place for your teenager’s friends and encourage fun activities at responsible and respected places.

Just a short time ago your teens biggest concerns might have been hanging out with her friends and wondering what clothes to wear. Now she's dealing with morning sickness and scheduling prenatal visits. Her world has been turned upside down.

Most unmarried teens don't plan on becoming pregnant, and they're often terrified when it happens. Many, particularly younger teens, keep the news of their pregnancies secret because they fear the anger and disappointment of their parents. Some might even deny to themselves that they are pregnant - which makes it even more important for parents to step in and find medical care for their teen as early in the pregnancy as possible. Younger teens' pregnancies, in particular, are considered high risk because their bodies haven't finished growing and are not yet fully mature.

Teen boys who are going to become fathers also need the involvement of their parents. Although some boys may welcome the chance to be involved with their children, others feel frightened and guilty and may need to be encouraged to face their responsibilities (the father is legally responsible for child support in every state). That doesn't mean, however, that you should pressure your teen son or daughter into an unwanted marriage. Offer advice, but remember that forcing your opinions on your teen or using threats is likely to backfire in the long run. There's no "one size fits all" solution here. Open communication between you and your teen will help as you consider the future.

teen pregnancy is a life-changing and scary event. If you're a pregnant teenager, you can help yourself and your baby by:

• Taking your prenatal vitamins for your health and to prevent some birth defects
• Avoiding smoking, alcohol and drugs
• Using a condom, if you are still having sex, to prevent sexually transmitted diseases that could hurt your baby